Nick Bryan Dot Com

Friday short story time: "Faker"


Not much time today, or this week as a whole, hence a slightly dashed off snippit of dialogue as this week’s “Friday story”. But I think there were a few good jokes in there, so here it is regardless.

Oh, and if you didn’t catch it earlier in the week, I have also been doing a bit of blogging about writing. Well, the plan is to do it every Tuesday, so here’s the obligatory intro post. First real attempt coming up in a few days.


By Nick Bryan

‘Caroline? Can you hear me?’

‘Yeah, are you nearly back yet? The lasagne’s sagging in the middle.’

‘Bit of a delay, I’m on a train and there’s a guy having some kind of fit.’

‘Ah, shit. Is he okay? Why are you muttering?’

‘I’m hiding in the toilets.’

‘Why? Is he contagious?’

‘No, I told them I was a doctor.’

‘What? Why the fuck?

‘I don’t know!’

‘You’re not even a vet or a dentist!’

‘It’s been a long day, the boss was being an arse, I just wanted to…’

‘What? Feel special? Jesus.’

‘I know, I know.’

‘What next? Pretend to be a gynaecologist for the hot sexiness?’

‘Okay okay okay.’

‘Just go out there, tell them you’re an idiot…’

‘Not a doctor.’

‘… a moron, come home and we’ll try to forget this ever happened.’

‘You mean you won’t post about it on Facebook?’

‘Only if you’re very nice to me.’

‘Say, don’t these train toilets drop straight down onto the tracks?’

‘You’re not thinking of running for it at the next station?’

‘You reckon not?’

‘Call an ambulance before the man dies.’

‘Or I could pretend I’ve fainted in here?’

‘Yeah, I’m doing the Facebook posting now.’

Copyright me 2012, don’t steal, email me here, all that jazz. And yes, I imagine he probably just went out there to face the music shortly after that. Or stayed in his cubicle and called an ambulance, I haven’t entirely decided.


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